Bare with me here while I get a little Hallmark-y on you all–I wrote this post when my hormones were in overdrive and I was shedding tears at the drop of a hat. No, seriously, every time Sienna outgrew a onesie, I cried in my closet like a crazy woman. Don’t get me started on the diaper situation. HOW is she already a size TWO?! She may as well be graduating college. Anyway, here goes.
It may be just me, but I feel like there are a few really big, momentous things that happen in life that leave you all weepy eyed and breathless. Sort of like when you’re watching a beautiful film that goes through all the human emotions and leaves you with the greatest ending ever, one that you never saw coming but couldn’t have written better yourself. Isn’t that feeling the best? The first time I experienced this, I was walking down an aisle towards my soon to be husband. I remember the hairs on the back of my neck standing up and the flutters in my stomach unleashing into a crazed frenzy. It was an incredible feeling knowing that right then and there, I would be his and he mine–forever.
The sound of life filling the room after giving birth is another one of those crazy, awe-inspiring moments. I imagine the heavens rejoicing and marveling at this little being sent down to earth, created so intricately and perfectly, just for you. It blows my mind, this tiny creation. There’s no greater feeling I’ve felt than the first time each one of my babies was placed on my chest, the first time their little eyes opened and peered through mine, their perfect lips making that perfect little “O” in search for my milk, the smell of their sweet breath as they settled into me for comfort. Goodness. What a gift.
Hello beautiful girl version of Emerson! :)
Then came the first time my son laid eyes on his baby sister. I get emotional every time I replay that little scene in my mind. Emerson had watched my belly grow from a little bump to what probably resembled a mountain to him (me too). He often kissed it, telling her to “come out and play with his firetruck” and was so excited to feel her “kick soccer balls” (my organs) in there. I grew up as an only child and dreamed of the day I would one day have a house with children, hearing them laugh, play, bicker, grow together, sharing secrets, protecting and loving each other. I remember hearing Emerson’s little footsteps enter the hospital room and trying so desperately to hold myself together as his curious gaze fell on his sister. We got them each a gift from one another (he picked hers out while she was still in my belly) and we let him hold her in my hospital bed. So there we were, the four of us, completed in ways I never knew were missing.
My water broke in the middle of the night, but I didn’t head to the hospital until the morning. Stupidly, I didn’t eat anything before leaving and Sienna didn’t arrive until 11:30pm. Needless to say, I was begging Adi to sneak me some BurgerFi but my nurses were all over squashing that plan. So the next day, I more than made up for it and E was happy to help. My room smelled the best, you guys.
I don’t quite know the ending to this little film of ours but so far, it’s been pretty amazing. I’m so incredibly thankful that I serve a God that writes better stories than I ever could. Dear sweet little family of mine, I love you so much. Hope you enjoyed my favorite photos from the day we became 4 (you can see a few from Emerson’s birth on my old blog, here).
My very favorite photo from that day.
The most perfect, beautiful rose I ever did see.